Pull a New Trigger

By Bethany | Nov 14, 2019 | Uncategorized

A trigger is a physical reaction to a mental stimulus.

This trigger is not random. You’re life is filled with conditioned responses. We all have reactions that, through repeated experiences, have become totally automatic.

My husband and I have been married (almost) 15 years. The first half (ok 3/4th) was a complete sh*t show, I’m not even gonna lie. We triggered each other everyday without even knowing it. But here’s the thing, it’s not the trigger, it’s the REACTION that gets us in trouble.

You can unintentionally trigger someone. I remember the story of a guy and a girl on a date and the guy suggested they share a meal. His date LOST. IT.  Her entire life she had to share meals with her siblings bc they didn’t have enough food. Now here she is grown and on a date and this guy wants to share! So she reacted and their night was ruined.

Here’s the good news: there is a moment, a pause, a little bit of space in between the trigger and the response. In that moment, you have the right to CHOOSE your response.

But here’s the thing, you don’t know until you know and AWARENESS is key. So here’s a little something I learned: “where there’s a tone, there’s a stone.”

Anything that gets you all riled up, or causes you to verbally retaliate, there’s a stone in your heart that needs to be dealt with. Ask yourself why you feel that way. Did the person who triggered you mean to cause you harm? Does what the person said or did remind you of what someone else used to say or do to you?

This takes practice!! So if this is new to you, give yourself some grace. If you do end up reacting instead of noticing the pause and responding appropriately, apologize and do better next time.


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